Hello

My name is Desiree, I am 33 years old. A Navy Vet, a mother to 3 beautiful daughters and a wife to a tall handsome man. I am going to school to eventually, fingers crossed be a Psychiatrist/Counselor/Advocate.

So, a little bit of my background and where my mental health issues started. I had been in the Navy for about 9 months. I had been stationed on The Aircraft Carrier, USS George H.W. Bush for 3 months. We had just left for deployment in 2014 on the second day I woke up and had pain in my abdomen so bad I couldn’t move, I was in tears. So, being my stubborn self I got to my locker and took some IBUPROFEN and waited for it to kick in. I asked someone to let my Chief know I was going to be late. Luckily he was one of the understanding ones. When the pain was a little relieved I made it to work. I hadn’t been crying for a little bit. But the pain was still really bad. In the military you have what’s called sick call. It’s two times a day once in the morning and once in the evening. As a new Airman, I was under the impression that I couldn’t go unless it was one of those times. Around midday, one of my second classes told me that I could go anytime. That they couldn’t turn me away. At this time I was still hurting. So, I went. I was so nervous. When I got down to medical the HM (she was basically a CNA) told me if I was in that much pain I would still be crying. When the Doctor came in to examine me, he pushed on my belly and when he let go it felt like something exploded and I burst into tears. Multiple tests and hours later the surgeon told me if I was still in pain in the morning they were going to take my appendix out. On a ship. Out to sea. My first deployment and only my second underway (out to sea). I couldn’t get tell anyone. I couldn’t warn them incase something happened to me. Luckily everything went ok. However, they found endometriosis inside my appendix and that was most likely the cause of my appendicitis. The surgeon told me that it could cause me to be infertile. If you know me, being a wife and a mother is something I have always dreamed of. This broke my heart. Fast forward to the end of December, beginning of January. I started getting really sick. Back to back UTI’s which would turn into a kidney infection every time. I am honestly surprised I didn’t die. I couldn’t eat, I could barely do anything. I went to medical frequently as well as the Emergency room. I also made an appointment with women’s help to find out if it could be endometriosis causing something again. He did an exam and said he didn’t find anything. Which I didn’t know at the time, they have to do a laparoscopy in order to find endometriosis. After the exam, I asked if there was anything else we could try because I was miserable(all the while, in tears). He told me no and then left the room. I was desperate at that point. I cant tell you how miserable I was and sadly I didn’t have the same surgeon on the ship to turn too. So, I went to the E.R. over and over again. Thanks to one of my first classes who helped me immensely through this who told me to keep going back til they did something. So that’s exactly what I did. 3 months later found out I had a fibroid the size of a grapefruit in my uterus. I made an appointment with women’s health again. This was in April, the doctor told me that I didn’t need emergent surgery. Despite me being miserable and in pain for over 3 months. She said her next appointment was in June. So, I asked if I could see a civilian doctor then. Because I was miserable and tired of being in pain. She left the room and when she came back she said she could get me in May 5th. Just a couple weeks away. I said yes, duh! She told me the surgery I would have was the same incision someone would have in a cesarean. I honestly didn’t care I wanted this thing out of me. My poor husband (boyfriend at the time) was so supportive over all this craziness. And when I had surgery a month later he was there for me every night he got off of work at midnight, he would drive 45 minutes to come spend the night in the hospital with me. And he would again after I got released and had to be admitted again to due an infection. After the surgery I was a mess. I cried all the time and freaked out over little things. I couldn’t drive or go anywhere without have panic or anxiety attacks because I was so scared being in a car. Not to mention on top of that I was bleeding the worst I have ever in my life. I couldn’t even make it to work without having to go home to change my clothes. It was awful. At my follow up appointment I was a complete wreck my blood pressure was through the roof! I wanted to be put on something because I was going to break at any point. Well, she put me on an Antidepressant and a few weeks later attempted suicide after starting a fight with my boyfriend over something so important that I can’t remember what it was. He had to go to work and of course he left. After all this man had done for me, I was putting him through hell. And there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it. He had had enough and I dont blame him. I then tried to overdose on pills. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I was tired of the pain. Of putting Will through hell and myself and because I had no control over it. I survived that attempt and I finally got to see a counselor and the most understanding psychiatrist. I went through months of changing medications, appointments with the neurologist because I got frequent headaches. She’s the one who had me go get tested to see if I had high blood pressure. Which not really a surprise, I did in fact have high blood pressure. At 29 years old!… this was all from February 2014 to the middle of 2015. There is more to this and I have a point to this. For now though I’m gonna sign off.